Grieving Is Not Cookie Cutter

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Maybe Similarities, But Grieving Is Not Cookie Cutter

Grieving is not cookie cutter. There may be similarities in what people experience certainly, but grieving is a very personal journey that has so many factors that contribute to how any particular person is going to work through those emotions. Grieving is not cookie cutter even in the smaller things we grieve throughout life.

Grieving losses throughout life is just part of everyone’s journey. We think of grief as something people share when they lose someone they love and that is usually the most difficult one.  There are many smaller things too, like grieving the loss of your child’s babyhood, loss of your youth, loss of income, loss a place you liked to be and you get the idea. Yet we deal with these things as it is just the counter part of the gains we make in life. It’s all part of your personal journey.

Losing someone you love has got to be though one of the most difficult paths we must walk. Even that type of grieving is not cookie cutter though. Many factors contribute to how one grieves at any given time in their life. If the person who passed away was someone you spent a lot of time with like a parent or child, someone very close to you or someone whom you love, but wasn’t part of your daily routine can make a difference in how your grieving journey will go. There are other factors though like where you are in life when the loss occurs. Have you lost others recently, your family dynamics or even your age. The things going on at the time could play a part also. And of course, how the person died can be a significant influence on how you will walk this path of grieving. It’s not just you either, these same things in the deceased person’s life or those around you that were part of their life also can all make a difference in how you grieve that loss.

Grieving is not cookie cutter

How does anyone get through grief after considering all that? Like anything, it is taking one step at a time. Sometimes and often frequently, you may feel like you are moving forward, ever so slowly, then Wam! You are ambushed with something that immediately triggers a flood of sadness and you seem to regress a few steps. This happens all along the way. It could be something you see, hear or smell that triggers a memory or a thought that seems to cause these setbacks.

So, though there are similarities in grieving, grieving is not a cookie cutter experience. Your own path is very much individualized. They say the healthiest way to move through the grief journey is to allow yourself to experience the grief. In other words, do not try to deny or ignore the feelings that come up. I do agree with that as I am working through my own grief, but for me, that is easier said than done.  And of course, there are times when you must avoid certain situations that will provoke a meltdown, like at work.

In life, we will likely take many walks through grieving. Not all paths will be the same even for each individual. And I believe that grieving, in some circumstances, will never truly end. You will always have a deep seated longing for that person, but on the other hand, you will be able to celebrate and be thankful for that person in your life and move forward. Each trip through grief becomes part of your life journey or story along the way.

There are generally many emotions a grieving person will struggle with at any given time during their journey. It may be denial, depression, anger, fear, loneliness, despair, sadness and many more. You can experience more than one at a time, they may flucuate for minutes, hours, days or weeks. You may feel you are coming out of the overwhelming sadness of your grief, then something triggers a memory and overwhelming sadness befalls you again like mentioned earlier. This can make it even more difficult for others who care about you to help you. They won’t understand, not totally, but they can at least know that you are hurting and be available to you. And you for them.

I know it is important to remember that things can get better and to just keep walking the path. Each of our stories are ever changing, both happy things and not so happy things. Just got to keep walking. Keep confident that you will get through the grieving times. Of course, your life will not be the same. Each major life event does have an impact on your life journey. You will likely always have sadness around the loss, but it’s okay to move on. It’s okay to enjoy life again, the best way that you are able. So keep walking the path of grief, however long it takes for you. And as you take that journey, be sure you are also making a point of remembering and thinking about hopeful and positive things related to your loss. That will be easier to do as you go along, but not always easy, but it is helpful.

God’s word tells us that He is a God of all comfort. He can help you find peace and strength as you are grieving your own path to moving forward in your life journey.


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